Invisible.
Since I died that's how I feel.  The love of my life can no longer feel my touch. Can no longer hear my voice, my whisper, the phrase I've said since I fell for him, 'I love you.'  I walk around a ghost to the world.  Wanting nothing more than to feel the warmth of Gerard again.  

I can hear him.  Hear his cries, his pain.  I can see him but it's the worst torture.  I can see him, but no longer feel him, no longer touch his beautiful face, no longer stare straight into his beautiful eyes.  The eyes that made me trip and fall head over heels for him. I lay with him in his sleep and listen to him whimper and cry my name.  

Gerard was with me when I died, he blames himself I know it.  It was late, dark.  The roads were slippery, we were fighting.  About the dumbest thing.  I wanted to tell people about us, he said we should wait.  He wasn't paying attention and he took a corner to fast.  The car spun out of control and flipped off the road, and into the ditch.  My side hit a tree, his remained almost completely undamaged.  I remember being able to hear but not see, I couldn't wake myself.  I remember Gerard’s warm finger on my face, he was screaming my name but I couldn't reply.  I remember the ambulance arriving and I remember being able to finally be able to open my eyes.  I looked into his beautiful brown eyes and said, "I love you."  

Those were the last words I ever spoke, dying not a minute later.  Now I follow Gerard everywhere, not seen, not heard, invisible.  

I didn't understand why I was still here.  People say when you die, your ghost only stays behind if you have unfinished business.  Well one night at a concert Gerard did what I always wanted him to, he told them.  The whole world.  He told them about how he loved me, how we were much more than friends, how he wanted to spend forever with me and how he had taken advantage of forever and might have lost me forever. How his life would never be the same and how he would always love me and as he looked up into the sky he whispered, "I love you Frank!"  

That was the night I felt complete.  Like I no longer needed to stay, the words I needed him to say were said.  I could leave, and no longer be invisible.  I needed to say goodbye to him before I went.  That night, for the last time I crawled into bed with Gerard and kissed his cheek, whispering in his ear, "I love you."  

As I stood up to leave, to finally be visible. I felt someone touch me. Impossible, I felt something.  Turning back to the bed I realized Gerard was no longer there, 'Where was he.'  I walked out of the room and down the hall to the room that for some reason I had never wanted to enter since I had died. I slowly came into the room to see Gerard in a chair by a bed.  I walked around the chair to see myself lying in a bed asleep.  

What? I didn't understand this, it couldn’t be.  I died!  Softly I heard Gerard whisper, "Please come back to me.  I've suffered enough.  Please. I need you back." Gerard rubbed my bodies  hand.  I felt it. I really felt it!  I felt myself being pulled; I didn't want to go now! I could feel something!

But none the less I was pulled into the darkness.  I opened my eyes, the light was so bright.  I blinked and heard a slight gasp.  My vision finally cleared and I felt myself.  I was in my body!  I wasn't dead!  Gerard was beside me.  The second I finally grasped my voice I muttered softly, "I've missed you."  Gerard began to cry like never before.  He kissed me softly, "Oh my god.  This is impossible! Oh my god! I love you!"  I smiled, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that."

Gerard holds me as we lay here together finally able to feel each other.  I am here, I am alive, and I am with the man I love.  I am no longer, INVISIBLE!